Nusa Penida

Nusa Penida ;; possibly one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been, undoubtedly THE hottest place I’ve ever been. 

Island life in splints is a bit of a logistical nightmare to say the least, but it’s something that with a few Balinese men and a whole lotta team spirit is a hurdle I/we are willing to tackle. 

Nusa Penida has some of the most beautiful and insane features I’ve ever seen. Pictured above is Kelingking Beach or T-Rex Beach – whichever you prefer. 

I think at one point I must’ve cropped my splints out of the pic, or asked for them not to be in it when taken but you might be able to notice the incline and terrain of this viewpoint. Ankles strapped at 90degrees – horror! 

A lot of the island was set up like this, and don’t get me wrong a hike is now less of a deterrent (within reason) but the temperature here was like nothing I’ve ever felt. 

I really really struggled mentally here. 

Having a quarter of your body wrapped in plastic is hard, and hot. Having to hold on to others while climbing/walking/hauling is hard, and hot. 

I have a pretty solid grasp on my capabilities and if I can’t do something I don’t want to do then I am happy as Larry sitting with a cocktail while everyone does what they wana do. But when I can’t do something I want to do, there are times I struggle. 

I was holding back tears, I was silent and consumed, I resented myself and I started to resent my friends I was with. It was fucking horrible and while I was semi-conscious of what was happening, i could not get myself out of it. 

When we were away my main, JG, introduced me to writing poems. So I wrote a poem. Just on notes on my phone. It’s pretty shite tbf, but it allowed me to break the tormenting cycle of thoughts in my head, formed a distraction and in that space allowed me to talk to them about how I was feeling. 

My gals obv knew there was something up, so did I but it can be difficult not only breaking that cycle but also approaching it if you see it in someone else. 

Being able to just tell them the things that were making me sad, angry and withdrawn was like a weight off my shoulders. It didn’t make it go away, or grow me new legs to keep up with them, but it allowed me to start rationalising what my brain had concocted. 

This started as an Instagram caption but I ran out of space hahah. Essentially, my point, I would never have thought of writing a poem. And that’s what changed the pattern of this devastating day. 

You’d never know from the picture that due to (what I see now as) a bit of an unfortunate situation, my brain 0-100d faster than I could’ve imagined and tortured my entire being for god knows how long that day. 

Be kind to people. You have no clue what’s on and what’s not. Be kind to yourself. Take the good with the bad and give yourself a pat on the back for what you achieve, and what you don’t but instead you overcome. 

I’ll cya when I cya Southern Hemisphere ♥️