Hey baes and boos.
I hope you all good 😀
I’ve been stuck for what to write about for a while as I’ve been pretty quiet and when I started working again I felt like I was the busiest I’ve ever been.
While this isn’t the case, I know it can take some extra time for me to get into a routine and for all the biz, I have to balance with rest. I had been pretty on point with my gym routine pre-employment and was feeling good. Starting working again a few weeks ago meant I was so tired – like legit a zombie and sore all over, I’ve only managed to gym once or twice a week which is less than I’d like. Moving forward I ideally want to build up to being able to go 4x a week minimum while I’m working – I’m happy with that as a goal for now.
Along with a large number of things in life, having a disability comes with extra hurdles. CIDP left me with low muscle tone in my whole body, my outer extremities are affected the most but it does affect everywhere. I have one side of my body that’s always been the dominant side and therefore is marginally stronger. This has been the case throughout my recovery since age 2. As a result I developed scoliosis and lumbar curve around the age of 4, which is twists and curves of da spine. The cover picture of this post is a chest x-ray is had to get for a visa medical. As it’s a chest one it doesn’t show my spine from the back or the whole way down, but it’s the only one I have yano and you get the picture. She curveeee, and I have a titanium rod from top to bottom.
I had 2 corrective spinal surgeries at 13 and I look after my back to an extent, it doesn’t really bend but other than that it doesn’t give me much of a bother. As a result of the twists and turns though, the rest of me is a bit twisted and turnt. I get craaaaaaaazzzzzy mad hip pain which then means I get a sore ankle and sometimes shoulder which makes a whole concoction for a shite day. I’m not really one for pain relief but recently I had to take some (prescribed) tramadol, so going from not really taking a para to straight in for the trams kinda perspectivises it.
On the back of this (no pun intended), pain is tiring, in whatever form you experience it. For me I am working out to work on and improve my overall fitness and body strength. I’ve 100% been a lot fitter and stronger than I am at this current time but for me it’s all so relative to other factors happening in my life. This is a strong reminder not to be too hard on myself which is important in not losing motivation and ending up taking steps backwards rather than having a quick break.
In an ideal world I’d be walking to and from the train station to work, do work, gym after work, make food, shower and complete all other tasks for the day. Weakness = tiredness = more weakness = pain. I pick my battles.
Saying that, while listening to my body and not pushing myself off the edge of a cliff, it’s also important to not use this as an excuse. Sure, I’m only human, I’ll excuse when I CBA, when I want to do something instead, when I would rather stick pins in my eyes than get on a treadmill, but these are the times I need to push through. There’s a huge difference between not going to the gym because I’d rather go home and lie on the couch and because I can’t take more than one step without wanting to cry. I saw a quote recently and have spent the last 20 mins trying to find it to no avail, it went something like – “Don’t be a girl who does inconsistent fad diets. Be the girl that never struggles with her fitness again.” There was definitely more to it but that’s what I remember and it really stuck with me. It’s so hard to start over again from scratch, especially with shitey wee legs like mine haha (-or whatever your hurdle is), this time it’s been really powerful striving to have this mentality behind me so that I respect my body when necessary and more importantly work on being a little bitch when opting for the couch haha.
If you’re still reading to this point then wow, and thank you. I just wanted to have a wee e-gab and share what’s been happening – coz that’s what this is for eh! I think the main focus of this post is, once again – the mind is a powerful thangggg. Whatever you’re working on or your goal is right now, whether you have to OR choose to take a break for whatever reason, it’s so easy to beat yourself up and put yourself right back at square one. If you use that time to work on your mind and outlook on things, this could be equal to or even bigger progress than where you’re at with your project/goal/whatever. There’s plenty of external shenanigans that can bring you down. Keep trucking from the inside, work on you, take care of yourself. Keep some love pumping.
I love you if you still reading ❤
SPLINT UP, LOOK SHARP 